“I am not happy with things around me. I am feeling suffocated. I feel I am bound by lots of DOs and DONTs in life and at times, I feel smothered.” Well, this is what most of us feel, don’t we? One of my friends told me this today and something inside me moved. And when I asked myself, I saw that I too feel the same, somewhere deep inside.
Life is not so simple – it never was. When I was a kid, I used to think life is very simple – colorful, truthful, blissful. Yes, life is blissful, but then we are not always blessed with that bliss. When we try hard and fight against all odds to reach a level where we think we should be happy, the GameMaker changes the difficulty level, saying that this is not the end and you need to carry on. So, we do – we don’t stop playing FarmVille in office, neither do we stop chatting with members of the opposite sex in Facebook, or smoking when your partner is not around – and thus, we carry on.
I am also not happy – not even after disregarding the whole society and marrying the best girl in the world. There are reasons for my unhappiness. India lost yesterday by mere 3 runs even after Sachin scored his 45th ODI century to the Awful Aussies – leaving me poignant. I read the news of fire in Oil reservoirs in Jaipur beating thousands off their homes and became sad. I was surprised as well as pissed off hearing the Muslim groups talk against the National Anthem – shouldn’t I be sad? I have a few hundred more reasons to be not happy. And so I am not.
But who cares? I will tell you one thing here – nobody gives a damn if you are unhappy or otherwise – not in this world! Everyone around you are so engrossed in their own lives that they do not find the time to care for you – its true! India too, is becoming America now. Nobody cares for anyone. So, why be sad?
Well, let’s not go far and look into my own life here. I am playing a few games available in Facebook these days – online and real-time games, like FarmVille, Mafia Wars, FarmTown, FishTank, UNO, Scrabble, Chess, Premiere Football etc. and I count hours and days when I can
feed my fishes or harvest my crop. I wait for the next day when I will get an Energy pack and would be able to do some more jobs and enhance my level. It gives me happiness. I feel this is some time I spend for myself and I do this religiously. In doing so, I keep ignoring my wife and fool around with her emotions, time and happiness. She works all over the week in office and simultaneously does the house chores and wants me to spend most of the time with her, during weekends or whenever possible – which, I devote to my online games, thinking of spending some time for myself during my week off. So, in pursuit of my happiness, I sacrifice whose pleasure? The one who is the treasure of my life and around whom my life and my happiness revolves! I can say that she tries to binds me during weekends too and does not allow me to play in my leisure and sulk or else, I can give up playing those online time consumers and make her happy sitting next to her doing absolutely nothing while she is cooking in the kitchen. So, to make her happy, I need to renounce my happiness – isn’t it?
NO! What I can do is to plant long crops that mature only over the weekend and play during the weekdays when I am alone and thus keeping my entertainment quotient intact and giving her maximum amount of time possible. I (need to) ADJUST! This is the amount of fine-tuning that I am talking about today.
In a relationship or while we are in a family, we have certain priorities, goals and responsibilities that we cannot sideline. Keeping people happy is not the goal here; keeping people from being sad is! A little bit of adjustment and compromise can bring wonders in one’s life. Doing more things that you are supposed to do and doing less things that you want to do makes a difference. We cannot be happy all the time and we will definitely be not happy if people around us are grump. There are huge lists of DOs and DONTs in every family, every company and every hospital. Somewhere they bind people into stronghold relationships; somewhere they build strong teams and somewhere they save lives.
Keep yourself in the shoes of your father, asking you not to go around with filthy girls. He knows where they can lead you and why they should not be entertained. You might be enjoying those one night stands and public display of affection for some time, but you are sure to get drown in the fake and momentary happiness they would give you. The ‘DO NOT’ from father may sound harsh to you, but someday you will surely realize that what he told was right – may be perfect!
We go through stages in life, when life seems to be bottlenecked and we gasp for that fresh breeze or that one single star in the darkest night sky to give us light; when we find nothing is going right and that suffocates us from inside. This is the time, when we should stand tall and break the shackles for ourselves. I know the world will not give me time and space and I also know that I have only one life to do all that can be done. So, what do I do? That’s the question and whoever finds an answer to this (All by Oneself) will level up soon.
Take light!
Think less on how you are going to do a job,
Think more on what you are going to do.
This is what I believe in,
The rest is all up to you! ... Tan :)
Life is not so simple – it never was. When I was a kid, I used to think life is very simple – colorful, truthful, blissful. Yes, life is blissful, but then we are not always blessed with that bliss. When we try hard and fight against all odds to reach a level where we think we should be happy, the GameMaker changes the difficulty level, saying that this is not the end and you need to carry on. So, we do – we don’t stop playing FarmVille in office, neither do we stop chatting with members of the opposite sex in Facebook, or smoking when your partner is not around – and thus, we carry on.
I am also not happy – not even after disregarding the whole society and marrying the best girl in the world. There are reasons for my unhappiness. India lost yesterday by mere 3 runs even after Sachin scored his 45th ODI century to the Awful Aussies – leaving me poignant. I read the news of fire in Oil reservoirs in Jaipur beating thousands off their homes and became sad. I was surprised as well as pissed off hearing the Muslim groups talk against the National Anthem – shouldn’t I be sad? I have a few hundred more reasons to be not happy. And so I am not.
But who cares? I will tell you one thing here – nobody gives a damn if you are unhappy or otherwise – not in this world! Everyone around you are so engrossed in their own lives that they do not find the time to care for you – its true! India too, is becoming America now. Nobody cares for anyone. So, why be sad?
Well, let’s not go far and look into my own life here. I am playing a few games available in Facebook these days – online and real-time games, like FarmVille, Mafia Wars, FarmTown, FishTank, UNO, Scrabble, Chess, Premiere Football etc. and I count hours and days when I can
feed my fishes or harvest my crop. I wait for the next day when I will get an Energy pack and would be able to do some more jobs and enhance my level. It gives me happiness. I feel this is some time I spend for myself and I do this religiously. In doing so, I keep ignoring my wife and fool around with her emotions, time and happiness. She works all over the week in office and simultaneously does the house chores and wants me to spend most of the time with her, during weekends or whenever possible – which, I devote to my online games, thinking of spending some time for myself during my week off. So, in pursuit of my happiness, I sacrifice whose pleasure? The one who is the treasure of my life and around whom my life and my happiness revolves! I can say that she tries to binds me during weekends too and does not allow me to play in my leisure and sulk or else, I can give up playing those online time consumers and make her happy sitting next to her doing absolutely nothing while she is cooking in the kitchen. So, to make her happy, I need to renounce my happiness – isn’t it?NO! What I can do is to plant long crops that mature only over the weekend and play during the weekdays when I am alone and thus keeping my entertainment quotient intact and giving her maximum amount of time possible. I (need to) ADJUST! This is the amount of fine-tuning that I am talking about today.
In a relationship or while we are in a family, we have certain priorities, goals and responsibilities that we cannot sideline. Keeping people happy is not the goal here; keeping people from being sad is! A little bit of adjustment and compromise can bring wonders in one’s life. Doing more things that you are supposed to do and doing less things that you want to do makes a difference. We cannot be happy all the time and we will definitely be not happy if people around us are grump. There are huge lists of DOs and DONTs in every family, every company and every hospital. Somewhere they bind people into stronghold relationships; somewhere they build strong teams and somewhere they save lives.
Keep yourself in the shoes of your father, asking you not to go around with filthy girls. He knows where they can lead you and why they should not be entertained. You might be enjoying those one night stands and public display of affection for some time, but you are sure to get drown in the fake and momentary happiness they would give you. The ‘DO NOT’ from father may sound harsh to you, but someday you will surely realize that what he told was right – may be perfect!
We go through stages in life, when life seems to be bottlenecked and we gasp for that fresh breeze or that one single star in the darkest night sky to give us light; when we find nothing is going right and that suffocates us from inside. This is the time, when we should stand tall and break the shackles for ourselves. I know the world will not give me time and space and I also know that I have only one life to do all that can be done. So, what do I do? That’s the question and whoever finds an answer to this (All by Oneself) will level up soon.
Take light!
Think less on how you are going to do a job,
Think more on what you are going to do.
This is what I believe in,
The rest is all up to you! ... Tan :)
4 comments:
You also must remember, when you are a child, you don't have responsibilities like you do as an adult.
We each have to make our own happiness. Sometimes that doesn't come until you are much older, when you aren't trying so hard to be the perfect husband, son, brother, friend, and employee.
I don't play Farmville or Farm Town on FaceBook any longer. I was playing it too much and I thought why? I do enjoy playing Yacht, Farkle and some of the other games.
very serious, thoughtful post.. i read it again and again.. we are all affected by what you have written some time in life.. 'take light'says it all..
Agreeable Tan .....and yes girls are not filthy....for that matter people are not filthy.....our mind set is though. don't you think its time to change that?????
Hi, just while I was browsing aimlessly I came across your page. I must say its quite refreshing. I have got into a second marriage to a mature man who is caring and dotes on me and my daughter. He is a simple guy and extremely hardworking. Somehow I think of myself as very cosmopolitan whereas he comes from a small town of U.P. He has never complained of the silence I maintain most of the time. I am not sure what I am looking for. I have everything that one can ask for yet something is amiss....may be from my end. Still looking fr few answers from life...
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