I want to go back to School

I want to go back to school - not because I miss my schooldays, as I was a much of a sponge ball in school - will not react until you squeeze it. (Even it reacts, it will only come back to its own shape and size will not go beyond it) This is because I want to Study. Trust me, I used to feel that whatever was taught to me was far easier than what I can understand, when I was in school. Probably this thought or my unwillingness or my over excitement for cricket kept me away from studies and I grew dumber and the subjects went on getting tougher. I want to go back to school and study. I was not having this job that time. I never had to think about my family. I did not smoke, booze or tease girls. I never had Orkut, Google, YouTube, or Zoom TV that time. I had only time to study! I did not do it. I want to do it now! Probably it is too late.

I do not know if the above can be listed in my wish list. I wish it all right, but this is not possible anymore. They say समय बड़ा बलवान (Time is very Strong) and I have lost it, it seems. How did I not listen to my father’s words? He would not tell that again to me. I still remember hitting 48 out of 50, in Geography after a study session with him just the night before the Annual Exams. I got 8 out of first 50 and Ma was very angry on him saying he did not pay attention to my studies and hence, I am getting such scores. May be a bad day in the office or a awful party member who must have told a word or two in disrespect to something dear to my father, Baba got up and called me – took my Geo Book (Social Studies Book used to have all three subjects – Geography, History and Civics) – asked a few questions, only to get my blank looks – clawed me hard on one of thighs which went red hot with five prominent fingers on it. Rest of the session went all wrong – what I can remember is nothing other than tears in my eyes. I could not see the letters, even though I was looking at the book and crying. Liters or tear went down and I promised numerous times to study from now (then) on. I do not remember if I had dinner while I was awake (it was a routine for my parents to feed me when I was asleep every night) but I remember that I did not study. I just wept for rest of the session which lasted not more than 3 hours. Please do not ask me what happened in the Exams as I do not remember. What I remember next was the day when I got my final results. I got 48 in Geography – highest in the report card! That did not last – that did not have any effect as I was the same old stupid (as I know today that I was) from the next day onwards. Wish I would have listened to my father then, for once!!