A Quote for life!

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for Insects

Robert A Heinlein
(American science-fiction writer,1907-1988)

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Affairs - Part III

Continued from Part II

7. Pay back in same coin

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'
'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked:
'How much for a nice juicy steak
and a bottle of wine?'
'A nickel,' the barman replied.
'A nickel?' exclaimed the man.

'Where's the guy who owns this place?'

The bartender replied:
'Upstairs, with my wife.'

The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?'

The bartender replied:
'The same thing I'm doing
to his business down here.'

8. A new love!

9. Surprise, surprise...

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly:
'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.
'No,' he insisted,
'I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work'

At times, it feels really nice to joke and share a laughter. They say that laughter makes a man happier and fitter and it keeps people together. It flexes your muscles and lets you live long. Hope you liked this series. If you have anything to share, please do that with all of us.
Until next time...
Take care!


Monday, July 25, 2011

Affairs - Part II

Continued from Part I

4. Surprise, Honey!

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of
Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.'
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'

5. All in a family

6. I know how it feels, brother

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'
'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room.
'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.'
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.'

Some more, very soon...


Friday, July 22, 2011

Top Performers

2000th Test Match of Cricket started in Lords, England - the Mecca of Cricket on Friday. This is also the 100th Test match between India and England. The First two days belong to rain and England. Praveen Kumar of India took 5 wickets for the first time in his test career and Kevin Pietersen of England scored an unbeaten double hundred! When they declared, PK ran to KP to congratulate him. This is the best moment from the first of the five test match series, so far.

Good work, guys! Keep it up, both of you :)
All eyes on Sachin. Can he score his 100th International Century here?

More News on Yahoo...


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Affairs - Part I

Hello Guys!
I'm in a Jolly mood today and want to share a few humorous things with you all. Check this out and let me know if you like it. The short stories are taken from a forwarded email from one of my friends - I just added the titles; and the pictures are from Google Uncle!
Let me know if you like these...

1. Truth Does not Matter

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?'
his wife demanded.
'I can't lie to you,' he replied,
'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.'
She looked down at his shoes and said :

'You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!'

2. Too Soon - Bad Timing

3. Third Time Lucky

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife:
'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?'
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'

More will follow soon...


Monday, July 4, 2011

Hello Life

Hello Life,

How are you? Well, this is something I should ask myself, not you. You have been so nice to me and always so. You have given me things that I could only dream about. But there is still emptiness somewhere. Are you aware of it? Yes, you are! Who else would be?

They say life is always a struggle. I always knew that, and I was always ready for it – the struggle. I was ready and preparing myself for the struggle all the time – the one that gets you going with life; the struggle that you have to experience while getting on with your career, family, friends and everything else. I was prepared for it. And if you look behind, in the past 10 years or so, I have not done very badly, have I? No!

But the struggle has never ended. And it will not end, till I breathe last.

I know this all!

Then, what is that that is missing? Something is missing, and I am sure of it. The struggle has been within myself. There are some questions that I want answers for. I guess it is time to get to the basics, get a pencil and paper and write down things that are bothering me. This is one exercise I have done before and have advised my friends to do so too; however, I have not done so for a long time, it seems and I think this is high time I do that.

What are the things that are bothering me now?
What are the possible causes for these?
Can these be resolved by me or do I need to seek someone else’s help in this?
What do I need to do to get these resolved?
And so on…

There are many questions I want answers for. Most importantly, I have so many things in life that I know are pending and these small, but important jobs that are pending are creating more pressure on me. I can understand and can feel it immensely. Prioritizing things in life, small or big has been a challenge and I am not very good at it, it seems. What to do now? What to do later? Which one to start with?

Time… I need more time…
Is asking for some time for myself, being selfish? I am not sure. I want to hear things that I want to hear. This is again, a problem.

As I type, I get flooded with many more questions. I need to answer each of them, I know. The first step is always tough. Let me take this step. Let me take the very first step and I am sure I will see an end of all these. Maybe…


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