A Quote for life!

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for Insects

Robert A Heinlein
(American science-fiction writer,1907-1988)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Me, me and me!

What do you want in life? Materialistic? Spiritual? What are those things that you would really want? It will be tough for you to answer – if you are not a saint, you would have a long list. That is not bad – truly. It is just human nature – to want everything we perceive to be good. As Shafin tells, very few people want to have their own private aeroplane – I beg to differ! Most of us, would at least once in life, want to have their own aeroplane. If not an aeroplane, may be a Mercedes or a Maruti 800 or whatever. I am not trying to attract you to the size of the dream – what I am telling is that everyone of us would have a dream, which would seem impossible in some phase of our lives, but we would aspire to achieve it. Everyone has a dream – a big one – as big as that person can think of.

Getting married and having a partner who will be your better half (literarily) is one of those things I dreamt of, as many others. Many people ask for this and would seriously put this in the top few listings in the roll mentioned above. The feeling of love comes into affect here – the feeling of being in a relationship; the feeling of owning and being owned. They say, “Love is perfect when it is shared.” Not many would share it – not many could!

I know a relationship is giving and taking. It is there, but one thing we tend to miss out. I just want to add to that thought of give and take. The thing we miss out is WHAT – what you are giving and what you are getting is a big question. You might be giving things I do not want to get. I may be expecting something else. I am giving you what I felt I should. You may find it inappropriate or not just enough. So, only giving and taking does not help. It should answer the question WHAT. (Here 'I' means the person you have a relationship with - your partner) One needs to answer, or at least check if what s/he is giving is being accepted or not. One needs to find out if her/his giving is enough for the other one – does it reciprocate; does it count, at all?

Hehehe. Many a time, it does not!

What do you do when it does not work out for you? What do you do when you see the two of you moving apart – slowly, but steadily – like the Tectonic Plates? Does the thought move you? Well, the first things we look for in such a situation are the basics – the basics of a relationship. Give and take policy is one. The other important things are trust, respect and love for each other. Very easily taken name are these – very tough to stick onto them. There is no trust, on the first hand. No trust at all. When we do not believe each other and we lose the respect for each other too. We cannot respect anything we do or our partners do. And this in turn affects the love. The love – for which has everything been done. No love anymore. Shouldn’t it end? Is it well to stretch a thing which is not going to click? (Well, I have told the same thing to at least 10 people recently – that a thing that is not going to exist should not be made longer. And now, I am in a process of searching for the answer for myself. Damn!) I am not sure; maybe I am not clear enough too, today – for I do not know. It has to be a process – some retrospect – some introspect. Shafin told that it is all about I, Me and Myself (me, me and me) – I do not agree, but I would not throw out that argument as yet. Let’s hope for the best!

1 Thoughts on this post...:

Rashi V Sunday, December 14, 2008  

Will you believe me if I said that just some days I had a similar conversation with a friend?

I was telling her that sometimes love isnt just enough. Nor is the matching of personalities. It is what the person feels he can offer to the other in the relationship and what he needs in return. Sounds damn unromantic but it is like a cost and benefit situation!

Love is a give and take and as you rightly said..OF WHAT??

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